Quarter of a Century
25. Everytime I told people I was turning 25, I got one of two responses. From people younger than 25 I get, “Oh my god I’m so sorry”. From people who are older than 25 I get, “What a great time in your life”. I felt both of those things; more of the former, but I was beginning to believe the latter.
Turning 25 was a terrifying thought. Which makes no sense because it’s not like anything actually changes when you celebrate another year of life. Other than being able to set foot in a bar, no birthday ever changes anything tangible. But I think that’s just it. Everyone is always more scared of intangible things changing. Getting comfortable with the unknown is an art that very few master. I’ve always been the type that struggles with beginnings and endings. The unknown of both throw me for a loop every time. So naturally, an age change—a beginning and end—makes me feel a lot of different emotions.
My birthday is at a weird time, too. Right after the holidays—which are stressful enough as is—during the winter and right at the beginning of a new year. All of those things on their own throw people into odd headspaces; a lot of changes. As I was getting ready to head into another new year, both in time and age, I also was about to experience another major change: going to grad school.
Back in November, I was accepted to the M.S. in Publishing program at NYU. This was a huge accomplishment for me. I had been thinking about the ways my life could go from here on out and I kept landing on jobs in the publishing realm. I decided that one of the best uses of my time would be to go back to school and learn the industry from working professionals.
So, around that same time I started anticipating all there was to come. I applied for a January start because why not. That then meant that the next three months would look like this: Thanksgiving, Christmas, lots of family time, New Years, my birthday and then the start of school…you could see why I was a little stressed and overwhelmed.
As holidays came and went, and family time came and went, I was drawing nearer to 2023, 25 and grad school. The caterpillars in my stomach had transformed into raging butterflies. But, as my dad always told me growing up: “Make those butterflies fly with you and not against you.” So that’s exactly what I did.
The week of New Year’s Eve I took a moment for myself and made a mood board for all of my hopes and dreams for 2023. I wrote down specific goals and found photos to depict those. As I scrolled through Pinterest, I found lots of photos that identified aspirations for how I’d like to see my year progress. Lots of photos of friends, healthy routines, study spaces and habits and lots and LOTS of self care opportunities.
One of my friends turned those photos into a collage and it is now my phone wallpaper. I also made one for my computer so I see reminders every day of what my goals for the year are. I felt some of those butterflies turn around and start to fly with me. Then all of a sudden, midnight struck and it was January 1, 2023.
The day I turned 25 was incredible. It was the first time that I had gone to bed the night before and woken up in the morning with a slow heart rate and happy butterflies. This was the dawn of an entirely new chapter in my life and I was ready for it. I spent a wonderful day with some of my friends and family laughing and talking and playing games. I can say this with full certainty, it was my best birthday yet.
And that’s how I went into 25. Happy. Joyful. Giggling. And every day since then has been nothing but that. Sure, I’m going to have down days, but I chose to go into this year happy. And that’s exactly how I intend to stay.
So for those of you who haven’t gotten there yet, turning 25 is awesome. I actually think that it is the age when your life truly becomes your own. There’s a sort of freedom that comes with it. It is an end and a beginning. It’s an opportunity to evaluate how you’d like to continue life. You find your people and they find you. You find your purpose, or at least start to understand what it could be.
So for those who have yet to turn 25, you should be excited. And for those who have experienced 25, thank you for telling me that 25 is going to be a great year. I believe you.
